Tuesday, August 29, 2006

TV test

Overheard at the doctor's office: "I'm just here to check the results of my TV test."

I'm sure she really said TB test, but wouldn't it be great if there really were a TV test?

"Your total TV is 283, which is much too high. We'd like to keep your total TV at 200 or below. Your ETV (good TV) level is 49, which is in the normal range. But it wouldn't hurt to increase your documentary consumption. Your TTV (bad TV), at 191, is much too high. You should cut back on soap operas, sitcoms, and reality shows. And get more exercise."


ETV = educational TV = "good TV"
TTV = trash TV = "bad TV"


meresy_g said...

My TV test score would be great. My husband however would probably need to go on medication.

Wayne said...

Excellent thoughts! My TV test score is ZERO. Absolute zero. I don't have one. 30 years and counting. I feel great! And I'd even know the difference between a TV and TB test!

But I'm intrigued - what's the medication for alarmingly high TV test scores? Tasering?

James Cooper said...

I take my TV in pretty good moderation so I expect I'd be okay. Maybe a little less sitcom and a little more PBS wouldn't hurt, but overall not too bad.

Wait, do DVDs of TV shows count?

Floridacracker said...

Poor Wayne, he's never seen SpongeBob.
I remember when Discovery Channel used to be ETV, but now about 50% of it is tales of a tattoo shop,ghost hunters, and look how we build motorcycles while yelling at each other.


Jenn said...

I have a TV test score of 0, unless you count the DTV - Dvd consumption.

But that I keep to a few hours a month, so I think I'm okay, for the moment.

I am in recovery, but you should see my sorry self in those restaurants with TVs in every corner. Ouch.

Moving pictures? Must watch. Very sad.

Wayne said...

FC's right - I have a vague idea of who "spongebob" is, but otherwise....

Jenn and I and probably Bev more than any of us are naivs when it comes to mainstream televised culture. We're eager, I'm sure, to be educated.

Here's what I'll admit. I have a monitor. I love a certain class of movies and am tickled pink to watch them. I even order movies. TV? Gracious, why on earth?

Rachel said...

My TV score test would be pretty low. I mostly watch the British comedies and reruns of Andy Griffith. None of this new stuff.

Rurality said...

I think I would miss TV if I didn't have one. I'm hoping that Wayne catches the documentaries and learning shows at someone else's house. :)