Monday, December 04, 2006

One-sided conversation overheard immediately after placing into our cart some milk with an expiration date marked at least ten days into the future

Man, leaning over to peer through an empty space in the megamart dairy cooler, presumably to speak to someone in the stock room: "Is this the freshest milk you've got?"

... (We couldn't hear the other side of the conversation.)

Man: "I need milk that's really, really fresh."

...

Man: "No, I need milk that's fresher than this."

...

Man, increasingly disturbed: "I've got to have VERY, VERY, VERY fresh milk."

... (I wonder if the worker behind the milk has realized by this time, as we have, that the man is in need of a mental health professional.)

Man, almost shouting: "I MUST have the freshest milk that is available!" (His tone insinuates that the worker is deliberately withholding the newest milk.)

... (One imagines the harried low-wage worker telling him to go find a cow.)

Man (sputtering loudly; tragicomically incensed): "I'm going to report you to management!"

He darted around in an agitated manner, looking for a manager, but of course could not find anyone. We slipped away before violence could occur.

14 comments:

robin andrea said...

Ten days sounds pretty fresh to me. The guy needs to get his own cow.

megabeth said...

What he needs is a fresh ride back to Planet A-hole.

Floridacracker said...

Obviously a bovampire

happy and blue 2 said...

Ha,ha,ha..Nuts make shopping so much more fun..

Dave said...

Sadly, it was people like this who decide that we all had to have pasteurization, whether we wanted it or not.

Anonymous said...

Gee I have that conversation in the store here all the time, only thing is here it makes the difference between expired and non-expired milk.

and... once I went into the store and asked to get as much milk as they had, as I wanted to have a milk bath. The guy said "Do you want it pasturized?", to which I replied, "No, just up to my waist."

Clare said...

That anonymous was me, not sure why it did that.

roosterhen said...

Ooops, sorry- I think that may have been my DH. I've had to toss a few gallons of milk that had "turned" because it was bought a few days before the expiration date. In an attempt to impress upon him the need to get the freshest milk available I have threatend to turn the rooster loose on him while forcing him, at gunpoint, to drink the foul smelling expired stuff next time he brings it home. Hence, he may exhibit some paranoia when shopping for milk.

chiefbiscuit said...

I like the imagined cow retort!

Ontario Wanderer said...

I doubt if I could drink fresh milk anymore. As I remember, when I first had "milk" from a store container I did not recognize it. I thought it was a strange kind of water. These days I am down to "1% milk" so I am sure it is 99% water. The real stuff almost gets stuck in your teeth. On the other hand drinking milk squirted straight from the cow, or goat, or whatever, should not be just the privilege of cats.

Rurality said...

It was obvious early on that the guy had some sort of, umm, issues. As I was writing this I thought, if it had all been said in a reasonable tone of voice, the whole scenario would've been different. But the man's was WAY too over the top after just the first sentence.

RA, in this county it wouldn't be that difficult!

MB, luckily there are fewer visitors from that planet out here in the country. :)

FC, hadn't thought about that...

H&B, they make for more bloggable stories, anyway.

Dave, with people like that leaning all over the milk, I'm glad to have it!

Clare I'm sure grocery shopping is a whole 'nother experience when things are mostly brought in by boat! (Also, grooooan at the pun!)

Grace, no, this guy had a beard. :)

CB, to tell you the truth I didn't think of it until much later. But I wouldn't be surprised if that's what he really said.

OW, even the 1% tastes rich after you get used to skim. I think lattes need whole milk though.

Ron Sullivan said...

Are you sure there actually was another side to that conversation? Wow, it's practically Berkeley-quality. Only nothing about unoppressed free-agent cows.

threecollie said...

Hmmmm, don't you wish you had a camera phone and dared to take a picture of him talking through the cooler? That must have been a sight to see!

Enlightenment said...
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